Hey loves! I wanted to share with you something I have never shared with anyone before (Not even my boyfriend until recently) because honestly, even I struggle with thinking about my journey and my struggles that PCOS has given me throughout my life.
As many of you know, I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14 years old. The first photo is not long following my diagnosis. I remember gaining nearly 50 pounds what seemed overnight - and I was so embarrassed of my weight. I never saw it as something that would just be though - and I've spent the last 11+ years with a lot of ups & downs, and fluctuations.
Many of you know my story. I felt I wasted the majority of my high school and college years, so worried about my weight that I never really lived my life. I wouldn't go out to eat with friends, I practically starved myself eating 1200 calories a day, and then spending 2+ hours on the stairmaster every night and refusing to miss a day. Nothing ever would let me budge, and to be honest - it was SO HARD.
The first time I found normalcy was when I started powerlifting. I was obsessed with lifting weights, because it was the first thing that ever let me eat a little more food, and see slight changes in my body. I started powerlifting when I was around 19 but got REALLY serious about it when I was 21-23. (I'll post a video of me lifting in the comments if anyone is interested). This period was life changing, because I finally started to eat like a normal person again, and I had balance in my life. But I went so far in the other direction. I was sitting at 155 pounds, with 15% body fat and could lift A LOT of weight. But I completely ignored my PCOS, and had absolute exacerbated PCOS symptoms. Not only did I already have high testosterone from PCOS, but weight lifting also is known to boost testosterone... so it was the perfect storm. I had a lot of cystic acne on my body, hair growing on my chest, and NO period.
That was when I realized, I couldn't keep doing this & started to take my PCOS back into control, and use everything I had tried over the years to find my perfect solution. I started to ease out of weight lifting but stayed active (I switched to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu), stayed really consistent with my supplements, and ate a balanced diet. This is also when I created S'moo. I decided to create S'moo because it was important for me to be able to be a mother one day, and hopefully conceive. I knew at the point I was at that moment, my likelihood was very unlikely if I didn't do something about it. I'm happy to say that 2 years later, I have my PCOS mostly under control, I feel great about my body, I live a balanced life and I feel confident that when I do try to have a family I will be able to.
I wanted to share these photos - and my story with you because I know it's really really hard dealing with PCOS, and even more difficult with weight being a part of it. My path was a long path, and with a lot of trials & tribulations but I'm so glad I stuck through it every day and didn't give up. So today, I'm telling you DON'T GIVE UP. One of the things I tell my loved ones the most, is that when times get tough and you feel like quitting, you're probably right about to cross the bridge to success.. and that goes for everything including PCOS, Hormone Balance, you name it.
I believe in you, I'm here for you, and I KNOW you can do this. S'moo is one step in the right direction - and I'm proud of you for taking it. It may not be the answer for everyone, but it is the answer for many and I'm so grateful. Even if S'moo is not the answer for you, I'm still so happy to have you here and I will always be in your corner no matter what. I love you all, and I'm so thankful that you are a part of my life and this community. 💕