1 in 8 couples are currently confronted with infertility.
Countless more are faced with difficulties in getting pregnant with one or more of their children.
The physical, emotional, mental and non-physical can all play a part in blocking a pregnancy.
Something as simple as timing can create difficulty, but more often it is much harder to uncover.
Mental stress creates physical stress. This comes about by our deeply embedded beliefs about whom we need to be as women, and how we ‘should’ measure up, even before we start to conceive.
These beliefs create an effect on our a) hormones that inundate our bodies and cause emotional stress that b) contracts our muscles. On top of that, the toll month after month of not getting pregnant causes a reaction that contracts our bodies even more. The stories of women who finally do get pregnant when they stopped thinking about their desire or decided to adopt, is interesting to read but completely unhelpful when you are the one going through it. How does one simply ‘forget about it’ or ‘give up’ authentically unless someone is at the complete end of their emotional rope. The route of IVF is fine for some, and not so for others.
So what are some of the steps to take right now that can get you closer to your baby?
Start from the headspace that you ARE meant to have a baby. If you want one, then one wants you. See your baby in your family, feel the weight of your baby in your arms, and how lucky you are to have your baby right now. Anytime a counter-productive thought comes in, see that thought, thank it for letting you know you still have work to do, and let it move on. Go back to knowing you will be a parent soon. Those counter productive thoughts are equal to saying to yourself "my neighbor is meant to make a decent income but I’m not.”
Says who? Me? You? It’s simply context that is made up.
So make one up that serves you.
Now, with that out of the way, there are some steps to start taking that may be uncomfortable and possibly not typical for you, but something I would highly recommend.
First: accept where you are. In this moment, there are things that are not quite working for you right now. This can be changed but accept for now that it is what it is. Becoming pregnant is about receiving. You need to know what you don’t have to know what you need to receive. If receiving is an uncomfortable thought, imagine yourself receiving something small and only slightly increasing that with each week. Physically, it can be a very difficult or a very easy process. It really depends on your personal history.
If you are treating yourself in a way you wouldn’t want someone you loved to be treated, that is something to note.
Since negative comments tend to contract muscles and the stomach area specifically, a good laugh is an excellent and most recommended distraction until you can get yourself into better habits or internal dialogues.
When we start seeing the support that is already around us, real changes begin to take shape.
For instance, something like food and restrictions of certain foods can directly support and shape your body.
Especially when hormones are not stable, removing inflammatory foods such as eggs, pork, soy, sugar, and corn can help. So can adding foods that alkalinize the body such as apple cider vinegar, veggies and fruits.
A healthy morning smoothie is an easy way to start your day. It’s what I did when I was diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance that was exacerbated by my increase in hormones during my pregnancy. I restricted what I ate and I incorporated a morning smoothie into my routine.
Within a few months I was off all of my medication when typically my medication dose was suppose to go up with each trimester. And I did it all through food and meditation.
Something as thoughtful and supportive as Smoo, which is a powder full of nutrients that can support fertility, can go into your smoothie and stabilize your hormones. With your health supported it’s easier to focus on the other components of your life.
Controlling your mental thoughts is a little bit more difficult, and can tie into the emotional.
If your life is stressful, and you want a baby but don’t really see how a baby could fit into your current life, it is a perfect opportunity to start using phrases such as “I wonder…..” There is so much power in our imagination. By spending some time each day wondering and pondering and imagining a life that is ideal has the same physical effects as the reality of that ideal life. Our minds are so powerful that the hormones released are the same hormones that would be released if we were actually experiencing something. That’s why scary movies are so powerful. Our bodies go through all the adrenaline rushes they would go through if actually experiencing the perceived fear. And of course, our emotions have an effect on our bodies, and on our hormones, muscles, and general mechanics of our bodies.
A thought to help you get started: "I wonder what it would be like if I was completely supported at work to take time off to be a mother. I wonder what it would be like to hold my baby tight after they fall. I wonder how I will light up when my baby smiles at me. I wonder how much I will love my baby.”
The powers of our thoughts truly are incredible. It is your thoughts that have brought you to where you are already! So keep going. Be mindful of each thought and again, make sure these thoughts are ones you want to have about yourself. You are writing this script.